Babies: The Antidote for the Introvert's Dread of Small-Talk

I recently read the posting "Moms are People, Too," by Stephanie Giese, on one of my favorite blogs, Binkies and Briefcases. It's about how, when you become a mother, strangers approach your toddler/young child and talk to him/her ("Oh, you're so cute! You love your blankie, don't you?") while ignoring the mother. The post was about how to get people to stop doing that.

In principle, I totally agree. (I have even seen my own mom blow right past me and grab my daughter without so much as a "Hi, Diane"--not that I blame her; Baby V. is a lot more snuggly than I am.)

But, then, I realized that part of me--the introverted part--doesn't want people to stop doing that!

However, as Susan Cain and many others have noted, small-talk is very awkward for introverts. We don't like casually bouncing from topic to topic, thinking of entertaining witticisms on the fly. We like to reflect and have more intimate one-on-one conversations about topics that we feel passionate about.

So, you can imagine how happy I was to realize that, after I had my baby, I'd never have to struggle to make small talk again! Oh, okay, maybe not "never," but I at least have a few years of rapid-fire baby/toddler milestones to regularly report to others before she becomes another run-of-the-mill kid who can do critical things unassisted, like go to the bathroom and eat food with a fork.

Here are some great examples of the sort of small talk I can now make now that I have a baby.

To the neighbor: "She is trying really hard to crawl, but she can't just yet!"

To Grandma: "She tried bananas this week!"

To colleagues: "I've had to run out and buy twelve-month pajamas already!"

To strange lady in grocery (or any) store: "She's eight months old and is getting her top two front teeth!"

To everyone: "I'm so tired!"

For the first time in my life, I know just what to say and how to say it in a quick and casual conversation.

So, Friends and Strangers who talk to Baby V. and not me, I say to you, I am not offended! I don't want you to stop! Talk to my baby and I will happily answer you with what I think she would say. I'll use the adult-pretending-to-be-a-baby voice and everything!

Is it sad that I'd rather invent hypothetical baby's-point-of-view small talk than make my own?

I suppose you could be cynical and say I'm using my child to avoid an activity I dislike. But I say it's just an unexpected perk after things like, you know, labor and sleepless nights and all that stuff, that my bundle of joy is also the ultimate conversation piece--er, person. ;)